Do you know the way to San Jose?

Do airplane trips ever just work? I mean have you ever gotten to the airport on time, sailed through security, found a comfortable seat next to a pleasant companion, arrived at your destination feeling refreshed and rested, and had your luggage make it, too?

Well...

Tina and I just flew to San Jose to visit Peter, and the perfect plane trip didn't happen (one more time.)

Let’s see,

• My computer fell out of the back of Dave's van as he dropped us off at the airport (nothing damaged, apparently.)
  
• When we checked our bags, they took my picture ID and wandered off with it. When I asked what was going on, they told me my name was on a "watch list." This must be the same evil Dale Wilson who is behind on his alimony payments and stiffed an eye-care place somewhere in Illinois. Kind of spooky knowing I have an evil twin.
  
• Next was Tina's turn with security. "Is this your bag, ma'am?" said the TSA guy. "Yes," replied Tina. "I'm going to have to ask you to open it up." By then I was through security myself, so I didn't hear the details, but after I stood around for quite a while, Tina finally made it through. Apparently they confiscated a vicious looking nail file and were deeply suspicious about the dangerous drugs that were Not In Their Original Ibuprofen Bottles!
  
• So the plane was a little bit late taking off.
  
• And we landed in Tulsa. Most of the passengers go off, but those of us who were heading on to Phoenix on the same flight rearranged ourselves and got comfortable for the next leg. One of the stewardesses stopped by to admire my beard. She said her husband also had a long beard, and was giving Tina some really unfortunate suggestions involving braids and tiny lights, when the PA system announced we all had to get off the plane and go to another gate. There was vague mention of a "maintenance issue."
  
  When we got to the new gate, there was an enormous crowd. Much more than a planeful. It seems that they were putting us on a plane that was supposed to go to Dallas. Since the plane was going to Phoenix instead, now, the Dallas people were being sent to yet-another-gate where presumably they would eventually be put on their own replacement plane to replace the one we had just borrowed from them.
  
  This being Southwest, we were given new boarding passes that let us board first -- even before "families traveling with small children." If you want to get on a Southwest airplane first, get yourself a mauve boarding pass (honest they called it mauve!)
  
• So that got us on the plane in Tulsa. We were 45 minutes late, but we were on our way. Nothing much went wrong during the flight to Phoenix (unless you count peanuts, but they're normal for a Southwest flight.) As we made our final approach into Phoenix they announced that Southwest was holding all connecting flights, and would anyone going to San Jose go directly to gate C2. Of course, our plane docked at the far end of the D concourse, but it coulda been worse. We hiked on over to C2 in time to walk right onto the plane shortly before they closed the doors. Things were looking up -- this plane was half empty so we had no problems finding seats.
  
• Oops. Spoke too soon. As we arranged ourselves I realized that I had left the book I was reading on the other plane. "Do you think they'll let me go back and get it?" I asked Tina. Right.
  
• So on to San Jose. We made up the time somehow and actually got to San Jose on time! The only unfortunate part of this leg was when the stewardess decided to sing as we taxied in to the airport. I guess it was endearing. A personal touch sort of like the early episodes of American Idol. "A bit pitchy," said Randy, "but not too bad." "I don't think this was a good song selection for you," said Paula, "but you've got a, um, loud voice." "I've heard better performances from the taxi driver that brought us to the hotel." said Simon.
  
• Home free, eh? Our baggage made it! Calloo, Callay!
  
• Then we got to Peter's car, and I said -- where's my computer? The brief case containing my computer--which I had carried on, so I couldn't blame the airline--wasn't there! In near panic I headed back to the baggage claim area. Fortunately it was sitting on a chair waiting for me. Airport security hadn't confiscated it as an unaccompanied bag -- probably because there was a woman there watching it. She said she saw us leave it and couldn't figure out what to do, so
  she was waiting a bit to see if we came back before calling security. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
  
  
  And so we're in San Jose. I do so love traveling.